How to be NICE social media

Social media is a great place to connect with people all over the world, share ideas and thoughts. It’s pretty awesome.

I am thankful for social media because I am able to share and express myself but I am finding that there is negativity, shame, disrespect, anger, hate, fear and so much more when it comes to commenting and even sharing.

To be honest, the world of technology and social media is growing and expanding so rapidly that I don’t believe I and others may have had the time and opportunity to process or even figure out ways of how to communicate with each other online. Let’s be real, sometimes it difficult communicating with people in person… how the heck do we expect to communicate effectively on social media. There’s definitely no hand book.

This post is going to come from what I believe we could communicate with each other on social media and if it doesn’t resonate with you then that’s cool.

This post is to invite more love into the world, especially the world of social media. My dream is that we all get along, we don’t have to agree but can respect our uniqueness and individuality.

One more thing I’d like to share is that being nice can look and feel different for everyone. Sometimes being nice could look like standing up for something you believe, speaking your truth, or even being loud but for real there are some ways we can be present and kind to others. 

So a few things to think about before commenting and even sharing…

Take a breathe before opening up Instagram, Facebook, Snap chat and ask yourself what is your intention of going on there?

Reminding yourself that people are different and have different perspectives that may not align with you.

When sharing a post you can ask  yourself these questions.

  • What is my intention with sharing this post?
  • Do people need to agree with this post? How does it feel if people don’t agree?
  • What if people comment my post with negativity?
  • What if people comment disagreeing?
  • Do I need to defend myself? Can I respect their perspective?
  • Is my intention that they need, have, should take my advice?
  • How much of who I am and what I believe does this post represent?

Don’t take a post personal

I seriously need to remember this constantly. Whether I see someone post something that triggers me or someone comments on my posts that throws me off. It takes a lot for me to take a moment and remember not to make it personal.

Responding to negative comments

This could mean something different. Someone might completely disagree with your post, someone might say something mean or offensive, someone may joke when the post was serious, or someone could question your belief.

  • Is your response coming from a place of anger, rage, fear, sadness?
  • Is your response because you are feeling defensive or wanting to defend yourself?
  • Is your response because you think you are right and they are wrong?
  • Can you take a step by and tune into your heart? What feels good to do?
  • Can you respond with a question? Asking to understand where they are coming from?

Leaving a comment

  • What is your intention of leaving this comment?
  • Is your comment because you disagree?
  • Is your comment because you think they are wrong and your belief is right?
  • Is your comment coming from fear?
  • Is your comment to better understand them?
  • Is it to share your experience?
  • Are you telling them what to do?
  • Is your comment asking question to better understand their post?

Leave the “you need”, “you have to”, “you should” out of it.

  • seriously though, do you like being told what to do? Use words like I invite you to, I encourage you, and I suggest… and recognize that if it feels good for them to do it than they will figure it out on their own. Or you can even ask… are you open to hear something I have to share on this topic?
  • Let’s create communicate that is inviting and creates community and a safe space to share.
  • Another thing I INVITE YOU to do… (see what I did there?), would be to share from your experience without the expectation of that person needing to experience the same thing as you.

Message a person in private

I feel we forget that we can message people in private. I see so many people post cruel and intense comments on people’s post. Why? For what? I guess I see the opportunity to message someone privately if that feels good to express your opinion or ask questions to better understand why a person posted something. 

What happened to “if you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say it all”? I am not saying that we shouldn’t express how we feel or what we think but maybe having a private conversation can bring an opportunity to learn from one another. Just a thought. 

The world of social media can be hard because people tend to believe the post you share are all you. In reality it’s only a very very VERY small portion of who you are and who you are in that brief moment.

People get so tense and riled up when they see posts and for some it seems fun for them to get anxious, angry, upset about a post. They seem to get some kind of pleasure out of it. Some even enjoy telling people what they need, should and have to do.

But guess what, only I know what is best for me. You can tell me this and that all you want and if I feel like it’s not coming from the heart, if it’s coming from fear, hate or any thing of the energetic field than I ain’t taking any advice.

I personally would rather interact in person and I also see the benefit of having a phone and social media. It truly is a great way to get a message out, to communicate with loved ones and to share interests, activities.

Social media is also a great way to spread love and unity, a great place to practice listening and holding space, and even celebrating everyone.

I love you all so much and thank you for taking the time to read through this.

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